Reverie Pills.

 

You know I am terminally ill with cancer.  I shall soon set the record for the person who has been terminally ill longest and there are some babies who weren’t given much chance who are still drinking stout at ninety. All the time I stay petal side of the daisies I’m in with a chance.

 

I’ve had a change of medication which makes me feel much better but has the interesting side effect of making me break into sudden and complete reveries. I see no warning on the box for this.  I must not operate heavy machinery.  Fair enough, but nothing about musing (sudden onset). 

 

It works like this. I innocently look out of the window.  Zap. Gaze is fixed down the street somewhere just above roof level, twiddling a pencil in my fingers or holding a cup of tea which goes from hot to cold to white film as I sit and daydream.

I can, and have to break out of a reverie from time to time, but it only takes me from one room to another before I become fascinated by the guttering on the roofs opposite and I’m off again. No deep thoughts, hardly any thoughts at all, except how pleasant this is.

 

I have previously always wanted to be doing something in my waking hours or I regarded my life as a tragic waste. I’d be making or breaking something or reading or drawing or doing a tough cross word.  Not now.  I can look at my feet for hours, and the psychological self-condemnation has gone.  Granny Perkins would say The Devil Finds Work for Idle Hands, O.K. Granny, I twiddle a pencil or rub my fingers a bit, that should keep him away.

 

During these musings my brain is fairly empty. You know how many rooms the brain has, more than Buckingham Palace, and when you normally stop and think it can rush about through them all.....now you are thinking about Dinner, then the dentist, then whatever do people move to Spain for, then.....you know the jumble.

 

Not so with the Reverie Pills. You think a bit about breathing gently, possibly a slow inventory of bodily reservoirs, rubbing the chin for a while, stuff like that.

 

I’m having great difficulty in finishing this essay. I feel a reverie coming on strong. You’ll know the reason if I finish in mid sente